found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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