i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
