fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
