I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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