I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
We left the knife in your bed.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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