At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
