i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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