Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
