So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
