Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
