I wannas sexs uuuuu
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
