Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
