guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize