yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
