I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
What a dumb baby whore.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
