I heard we made out
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
