trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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