she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I need a beard to bite.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
