I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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