Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
