I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
