My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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