Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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