you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
