I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize