stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize