meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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