She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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