You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
