Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
did you just send me my own nude
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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