Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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