I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Are my feet made of real feet?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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