Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
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