her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
