you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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