it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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