Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
