if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
