If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
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