What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
