I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
