I think i peed on brittanys purse
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
