Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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