thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize