just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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