jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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