do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
