I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
How does it feel to date your dad?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
