At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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