I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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