I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize