What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize