all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
