She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
