I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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