you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
