I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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