I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
