But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
