sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
