So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize