Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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